Vein in Vanity

I was still in high school when my sister had her first baby. As cliché as it sounds I was over the moon. Consequently I played mother very enthusiastically and believed I was doing much better than her biological mother. Ergo the idea that I was great with kids took root. Now about 20 years later, it turns out I was right. I am great with kids. Just not with my own kids.     Your children are essentially you. My children are a smaller but truer version of me. And no I am not proud. When I see my daughter handling a tense situation the way I would (which is lose my mind and wring my hands) I do exactly that - lose my mind and wring my hands. Because why would I want her to inherit the “bad traits”? As parents aren’t we trying to raise children who are well rounded and happy? (Read don’t mess up as much as we did.) But children learn essentially through imitation. What they see they reproduce till they are grown enough to have an opinion of their own.  Now th...

Its been over a year and half that I slept well at night. And enjoyed a whole cup of coffee sitting down, had a bath everyday ( judge me all you want ) or paid full attention to what the other person is saying when in conversation (not always unintentionally). So on the rare occasion that I manage to do one or all the above (a very rare and auspicious occasion) I am elated. You know that drivel about feeling blessed and appreciating the simple things in life? I used to think, sure that’s totally done when you have everything plus a MAID!! Then I, would even appreciate the dust under the couch that I have been covering up with a throw rug for weeks now!  However, now all that has started to make sense. When you have stayed awake all night because the baby won’t stop crying, you are obviously grateful for the nights that you can sleep for two hours straight. Yes I am talking on that level. But on every other day when I am this far from pulling my hair out, I patiently ...