Vein in Vanity

What’s it with women and adjustment? Maybe its the way we are made. But frankly I think a lot of us overdo it. Most of us have internalised the idea that to live well we need to be accepted. To gain this acceptance we conform, adjust, alter and accommodate. It is only natural to seek approval for the things you do, from your family and friends but the transition from approval to acceptance is often quick and uncalled for as it is unpleasant.  This is what happens with women in marriage. A perfectly independent and confident woman,  when living with a new family, suddenly remembers too well, the chalk talk she has been given by her mother, grandmothers, sisters, aunts and everything with the double x chromosome in her body. Then she is transformed into this docile and gullible pup ( for want of a better word) that can fetch, sit, stand and OBEY as required. After a while, when what is new becomes old the curtain drops, realisation dawns and we wonder- why? what for?  ...

I hardly know of anyone who doesn't care for a double decker burger, some french fries, a portion of cheesecake and anything that is dipped in oil, heavy with cream and therefore “sinful”. Just the thought of chocolates gets me drooling. People can’t stop drinking coffee or stop smoking cigarettes. I can’t get myself to drink enough water and I never have the time for any exercise. Although a growing waistline is a constant reminder of my atrocious food habits it is still so difficult to do the right thing!! Or should I rephrase that and say, so easy to, I wont say do the wrong thing (I find it scandalous should anyone brand a slice of delicious cheese pizza wrong), indulge? Many a time I find myself asking the prime mover, why go through the trouble of making something as unique as the human being and expect him not to binge when he is spoilt for choice. I am convinced its the way we are made because my 16 month old prefers chips to eating rice. Ok agreed, man made pastries ...

For sometime now I have been wondering what marks excellence from mediocrity. Some people can make magic out of nothing. Can it be perseverance? The will to accomplish? To prove a point? Or is it passion. One of the most underrated and overused word there ever was! I am sure all of us heard and heard some more about the requisites to excel- in a job, in a relationship, in raising your child, while pursuing a hobby, while reading the newspaper and even while polishing your shoes. And passion tops the list. So i looked up the meaning of the word and it  said any powerful or compelling feeling or emotion.  Of many things that we do, some we do out of compulsion and some others out of interest. We clearly enjoy the latter and wouldn't mind going all out. So we work hard, are strong willed and consequently hit a level of satisfaction. Now when this interest is taken a few levels higher it becomes passion. And what was decent becomes prodigious. So the “big P” is at the root...

I have a problem with the term “full-time mom”. The meaning of the phrase that i found online is, a mother who doesn't have a job and spends all her time looking after children. In this definition is the emphasis on the fact that she doesn't have a job or on the latter part of the sentence? When a woman decides to have a baby doesn't she become a mother from that exact moment? And if she decides to work after having a baby does she stop being a mother the time she goes to work?   Now that I have a baby the one main thing a lot of people want to know is if i am working. And  when I answer in the negative, the majority is appalled. A popular reason being, “A master’s degree down the drain”, “ You aren't housewife material” etc. Other reactions include disdain and even despair because “ What do you do all day at home? Don't you need a break from the baby? Don't you get bored? How can you put up with all the cooking, cleaning, crying, feeding etc etc?” ...